


Not Enough to Drink

by Squishy_TRex



Category: Pacific Rim (2013)
Genre: Angst, Friendship, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-02
Updated: 2014-01-02
Packaged: 2018-01-07 04:07:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,744
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1115308
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Squishy_TRex/pseuds/Squishy_TRex
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Nothing felt worse than loving someone who would never be yours.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Not Enough to Drink

Saving the world definitely seemed to put people in a partying mood. 

The whole of Shatterdome seemed to be a part of the festivities, throngs of people crowding every entrance and exit, to Hermann's irritation. 

He was standing next to Newton Geiszler, sipping some sort of alcoholic beverage, listening to his colleague reenact the harrowing events of his day. 

Hermann took to observing the crowd, briefly passing over various personnel, in search of someone. He finally spotted who he was looking for over by one of the exits in LOCCENT. 

Tendo Choi was laughing raucously at something one of the other technicians was saying and the sight brought a slight smile to Hermann's lips. The scientists always held mathematics in the highest regard, but even that could not be compared to a work of art like Tendo. 

After all, mathematics could not conceive of a formula to replicate the beauty of his smile. No combination of numbers could explain the complexity of his soul. The scientist stole another glance in the direction of LOCCENT’s chief technician, gaze lingering over a Hermann had never been a romantic, but he could try, he thinks, for this one man. 

And he wants to, very much. At least try. But Hermann has always chalked it up to cowardice, an excuse for not at least talking to the man. That, and the fact that Hermann rarely allowed himself to be separated from his work in the K-Science Division. 

But Hermann Gottlieb is no coward. Not after tonight. Anyone who would willingly agree to subject his own brain (the only asset he truly possessed) to neural overload was no coward. He drifted with a kaiju mere hours ago; he could talk to one man. Even if said man was a long time object of affection. 

Resolved, Hermann disposed of his drink, straightened up, and started to make his way towards Tendo. As he neared, he saw that he wasn’t the only one after Tendo’s attention.

Hercules Hansen, looking utterly worse for wear but putting on a brave face, had walked up to Tendo and gently touched his arm, while whispering in his ear. 

The cold flare of jealousy struck Hermann. It lingered as Tendo stopped laughing and looked at the newly-christened Marshall as if he were the only one in the room. 

Hermann watched as the two of them as they excused themselves from the group, making their way towards one of the hallways, escaping the celebration. 

While he never considered himself a busybody or was ever interested in other people’s affairs, like Newton so often was, Hermann currently found himself intrigued in where the pair was headed off to. He mentally reassured himself that it was probably something to do with the PPDC or how they were going to dismantle the Jaeger program now that there no longer seemed to be a need for it. But just to be sure…  
Hermann politely excused himself from a conversation that, from what he could hear, involved Dr. Geiszler and a particularly flexible tattoo artist from the Philippines, and made his way to where the marshal and Tendo had left the party. The doctor, despite his limp, managed to weave through the crowd without arousing any suspicion or call anyone’s attention. He quietly slipped out the exit and followed the pair, where they had retreated to one of the Shatterdome’s hallways. Hermann hung back, not wishing to be seen, and 

They had stopped in the middle of the hallway, with no one else around them. From his vantage, the mathematician couldn't hear what they were saying, but could see Marshal Hansen as he leaned up against the metal wall, his impressively large arms crossed, looking all the world like he wanted to curl up inside of himself. 

Hermann couldn’t really blame him; the man had lost both his best friend and his son in one blow and was obviously struggling to keep a calm veneer. He probably didn’t feel comfortable unburdening himself with anyone, especially with all of the celebration currently occurring. But the emotional toll must have been too great to handle. Which must have been the reason why he was out here, away from the party, with Tendo. 

Hermann knew that Tendo’s job as Chief Technician put him in touch with a great deal of PPDC higher ups and that he had probably worked with many different Jaeger pilot teams. So a relationship with one Hercules Hansen was not something to be alarmed over. It was the depth of that relationship that Hermann was curious about. 

As he continued watching the scene, he could tell that Tendo was carrying most of whatever conversation the two were having with Herc moving his head periodically. Nothing happened for a while, which allowed for Hermann to mentally calculate how much longer this conversation could take place and when Tendo would return to the party. 

However, all thoughts of math or anything else left Hermann when he noticed that Herc’s shoulders started to shake in a silent sob. Tendo immediately reached out, his hands attempting to smooth the Marshall’s arms back into relaxation. After a few moments have passed, the shakes slowly subside and the tense arms started to relax and unfold. As big, strong hands began to curl around Tendo’s, Hermann forced himself to look away.

He shouldn’t have come out here, shouldn’t have indulged his curiosity. 

Shouldn’t have fallen in love with a man who would never be his.

He looked back, if only to confirm what he already knew to be true. The angle at which Hermann was spying on the two was not the most ideal, but he could clearly see the two heads bent close together in a way that was far too intimate for friendship. 

Hermann turned away, unable to bear the scene any longer. He grabbed his cane and made his way back to the party, still as lively as he left it. Any festivity he had left had evaporated, but he would rather be among the throngs of people than alone in that corridor. He was so busy trying to lose himself in the crowd that he wasn't paying attention until he bumped right into someone, nearly knocking both of them over. 

“Dude, are you ok? I didn’t think you’d had enough to drink to start bowling people over.” Hermann accepted Newton’s assistance getting up and found himself face to face with his usually irritating partner. The biologist’s glasses were slightly askew and his face so red that he almost missed the lipstick smudge on one cheek. 

He looked well past buzzed and had the lopsided grin he wore when he was tipping into full intoxication. Hermann was not in the mood to deal with a drunk Newton, who was far more annoying than a sober one and turned to leave, until he was grabbed by unsteady hands. 

“Man, you don’t look so good,” he heard Newton say. “This is a party, man, practically in our honor. You should be living it up! I’m sure there’s plenty of babes here who’d be willing to show you a good time.” Hermann stiffened immediately. Newton’s grip relaxed as he picked up on the tension.

But the grip disappeared altogether when something caught the biologist's attention, pulling him away from Hermann slightly. He looked up to see what caught Newton's attention and caught the Marshall and Tendo making their back into the celebration. Hansen still looked worse for wear, but was able to wear a weary smile for the crowd, with Tendo dutifully by his side. Hermann allowed himself to stare for a bit before quickly averting his eyes. The scene from the hallway was still replaying itself in his head, taunting Hermann with what he could now never have. Tanned, callused hands. An open look of love an sympathy on Tendo’s face. A beautiful mouth that was…

"Sorry you had to find out," Newton said, interrupting Hermann's thoughts.

“Come on dude, you need a drink,” he said, steering Hermann away from a large group of people and towards a table that looked like it was stocked with every legal and illegal drink that could be procured from Hong Kong at short notice. He paid no attention as Newton poured something into a small glass.

"You knew." It was a simple statement, with no accusation behind it. Next to him, Newton snorted. 

"About your monster crush on Tendo or that him and Herc were knockin' boots?" Hermann was too tired for any fighting so he just settled for a long-suffering glare. Newt responded with a raised eyebrow and a quirked lip. 

"Well, Tendo isn't exactly great at keeping a secret. I caught him leaving Herc's room at 2 in the am last week." Newton grimaced in apology. "Also, dude, I was just in your head. Pretty much learned more than I ever needed to know." Hermann colored at the biologist's words.

"Well, Newton, I never intended for you to know." Hermann sighed. "Not that it matters now anyway." Newton's face fell in

“Hey dude I'm sorry,” Newton said as he thrust a drink into Hermann’s hands. The mathematician looked down at the liquid swirling in the glass. This was probably a bad idea. He drank it anyway, the bitterness chasing the fresh memories away. 

A numbness started to spread throughout his body. He drank more of what Newton had given him, hoping that he could, for once, get drunk enough to forget what he had seen, how he felt right now. 

"If it makes you feel any better, I'd totally pick you over Herc. Dude totally scares me." Hermann couldn't help the slight smile on his face.

"Do I not scare you enough Newton? I suppose I'm not doing my job properly then." Newton laughed and draped a surprisingly welcome arm around Hermann's shoulders.

"Whaddaya say we get out of here and head back to the lab? I got a Slyrs Bavarian Single Malt with our names on it and I know you haven't had enough to drink yet." 

Hermann allowed himself one last look at Tendo, who looked as happy as Hermann had ever seen him. He turned away, grabbing his cane and walking alongside Newton back to the lab. He smiled as the biologist jovially chatted next to him. It would take him a fair amount of time to work through this heartbreak, but he had a feeling Dr. Geiszler wouldn't let him suffer through it alone.


End file.
